What's in a number

I used to get on the scale every morning.  Some people weigh-in once a day, others once a week.  I started my once a day weigh-in ritual when I was in high school.  The habit lasted well into my twenties.  I'd gently step on the scale every morning and if I didn't see the number I wanted, I'd kick the scale away in frustration.  I'd wear my frustration all day and punish myself by eating less and exercising more just so I could see the number I desired.  Why I expected to weigh the same at 27 as I had at 17, I have no idea.  Why I was a slave to the scale, I have no idea.  Many people can weigh themselves and not be overly affected by the "number".  I wasn't one of them.

One fine Saturday morning, I came out of the bathroom irritated with the scale, myself and everyone in my path.  My boyfriend went into the bathroom and came out with my scale.  He held it aloft as if he were going to auction it off.  What he said both shocked and freed me.  He looked at me while holding my scale in the air and said  "Do you see this thing?  This 12" x 12" piece of metal has the ability to gauge our day.  You're a beautiful girl and you're allowing this thing to control your life."  Having said that, he threw the scale in the trash.  I took a minute to digest his performance and realized he was right (that time).   I was letting the number affect my mood, my self image and my relationships.  I left the scale in the trash.

Fast forward twenty plus years and I still don't own a scale.  I exercise regularly, eat healthy and live my life without the black cloud of the number hanging over my head.  The only time I weigh-in now is when I'm at the doctors and even then, I resist looking at the number lest I give it more weight than it deserves. 

I have never actually been overweight.  I fluctuate up and down a few pounds which is only apparent when I put on my jeans.  I stay active, eat cleanly and enjoy each day to the fullest without the number on the scale weighing me down.  I will forever be thankful for the day my scale got thrown away.